This turned out to be waaaaaay too much work...

So as the current leader in the club house in “wow they have really let themselves go since playing (insert high school/middle school sport here)” , I felt obligated to give you my All-Metrodome Team. This is a team of guys that when you see them now, it’s a double take and, “No. That really can’t be him? Wow, what the hell happened to him?” Also, this is a fitting list for those who affectionately call each other, “Tons of Fun” “Skiddles” “Fat Boy” “Tubby” “Fat Ass” “Skidder” “Chocolates” “Skippy” “Slim” and any other fat appropriate names. And without any further wastes of key strokes, here’s the All- Oh My God He Got Fat All-Metrodome Team.

Kent Hrbek—1st Base
Ok, his rookie stats say that he weighed 200 pounds. Uh huh. Here he looks like John Candy in the Great Outdoors.

Al Newman—2^nd BaseI really don’t think the “after” picture gives much justice to just his level of obvious indulgence.

Cristian Guzman—SSI get it, he’s not that fat now, but compared to the awkwardly skinny kid he was when he started with the Twins, yeah, you’re fat.

Scott Leius—3^rd Base

And just because: Is that Tom Hunt?

Tim Laudner—CatcherYou doubled in size, screw you, you’re fat too.

Marty Cordova—OF I guess that could have been Widman too?

Matt Lawton—OF Skinny punk to semi-fat? Still has the label fat in it, fat boy.

Mickey Hatcher—OF

Notable omission: Kirby. Yeah, he got fat after the fact, but he’s still Puck and I still like him, too much to put him in here. RIP Puck aka “Fat Little Shit”—Noella Melbye

Juan Berenguer—RPSenior Smoke must have been up to something…something near 350 after he finished. Mexican food is damn good if done right, so I’ll give him that.

Eddie Guardado –RP

Everyday Eddie filled out his uniform more and more as his career continued on…and still does today.

Frank Viola—SP

Nobody “rounds out” the staff like Sweet Music. Really, really rounds it.

Gay

Since this coming weekend is going to suck, I'll post a picture at the bottom of this post of a chick in a sports bra. That should cheer everyone up. But until then...

Reasons why this weekend is going to be fucking gay:

1. Gophers hockey have an off week. Again. Two weeks after taking a 3 week break. Gay.

2. No NFL games this week. For the first time in about 6 months there will be no football on at all this weekend. Gay.

3. NHL All-Star shit. Not saying the skills competition isn't sweet, but this also means the Wild are off for a week after tonight's game against LA. Which also sucks because the Kings are fucking boring and the Wild are fucking boring so this game will probably be a really fucking boring game.

4. NBA is, wait. Disregard that thought. Basketball is only legal to watch during March when it's college tournament time. And then only when there is 10 games going on at once and they keep switching back and forth. And you're drunk.

So basically this week is pretty depressing already. Nothing to look forward to and really no reason to get drunk. Not that you need a reason. Ever. But still.

I'm going to go ahead and look towards the following weekend which includes the return of Gopher Hockey, the FBR Open, the Superbowl, and probably other cool shit. Much better. Oh, and i definately tried to hump that crazy bitch back in the day. And i'm almost positive i pissed her bed that night. Pure class. Over and out. Enjoy the pic.


What a Beauty! Get a couple of safety pins and put on a hockey jersey, works for me.