Oh Canada!

So I'm stuck watching the Wild on a Canadian feed again tonight. Thanks FSN. Boogaard is basically chasing May around the rink every time he's out there, well both times he's been out there. During one of these chases, the Maple Leaf anouncers had some dyn-o-mite banter going back and forth. To sum it up, the play by play fag was talking about how Boogaard doesn't get into too many fights anymore because everyone in the league knows he's trying to hurt people when he fights. huh? The color guy jumps in and says something to the effect of "no shit sherlock". The first fag must've realized he sounded like skippy explaining the left-wing lock because at that point he circled the wagon and tried to justify his comment. not a good idea. it went something like this: well, you know most players when they fight are trying to set the tone, not necessarily hurt the other player. Boogaard is just too big for that, if you get in a fight with him, there's a good chance you'll get hurt. The 2nd guy must've wanted to slap that homo, instead he threw down a comment asking if he thought they should shadow box or something like that and the queer had no response, just dropped the topic. awesome. this is the shit you expect to hear when listening to people in phoenix talk about hockey, not so much torontonites. i'll assume thats what they're called. if not, they should be.

enough about that, did anyone else get any text messages from the feever this weekend? i have one on my phone with the quote "hextall for hobey". not even kidding. i would love to see a post on here with some reasoning behind that. the floor is yours feever.

and to quote russel and explain the picture above, when referring to blake "he'll always look like the result of a botched abortion." couldn't agree more. In keeping with the retard theme, there's a new poll on the right for coolest retard in C-Town history. There's been some good ones, but I think if you were putting together an all-star team these would be at the top of the list.

The Return of Random Thoughts...

*UPDATE* Just heard about the fire at the Hunt's place this morning. That sucks balls. Glad everyone got out alright. If i was looking for a cause, I'd check for any empty Miller Lite bottles outside near the hot tub, possibly half full of chew spit. Then i'd look around for Marlboro Light butts. If either of those are present, i'm going to assume that a situation similar to the hot tub situation on "Out Cold" was happening last night and somehow got out of control. Way to go Feever. Those jets sure are warm on a cold night though. Ok, back to your regularly scheduled worthlessness...

Well it's been quite some time since anybody has done anything on here. Looking at who usually puts shit on here and the level of laziness each of us possesses, it's no wonder. After the Wild took a nose dive in the standings and the Gophs got whipped last weekend, there was really no reason for anything on here as far as I'm concerned.

With the help of many many Morgan Cokes, i was able to completely erase last weekend from my brain. As far as i'm concerned, the Gophs had the weekend off and have been focusing on St. Cloud this weekend.

It's also Hockey Day Minnesota this Saturday, which means i'll be drinking beer all day and occasionally venturing out to the backyard to warm up. It's supposed to be in the mid 70's here this weekend, and right now it's 84 degrees warmer here than it is in c-town (62 here and -22 c-town). God that's gotta suck.

Feever just emailed some garbage about some fucker on the sioux who is apparently a pest or some shit. That would've probably been something to email around Gopher/Sioux weekend, but since they don't play this year i guess he just couldn't resist. what a retard.

also, i read in the feever that Wids had another fucking kid and named it cuntswayla or some shit. i'm probably going to text him congratulations and remind him that he's not mexican.

not sure about you a-holes, but we get monday off for dead black guy day. black people rock. well once a year anyways. i'll spend the day recovering from a hangover i'm sure. wouldn't have it any other way.

ok thats enough for now, i should pretend to care what these people are doing in class. gay.

one more thing, has anyone found skippy's cell phone? i'm assuming he lost it because i haven't gotten a single call from him lately, and usually it's atleast one a week and goes something like this...

"fattttty, what's up?"
"not a damn thing, watching tv."
"oh yeah, i'm just working at the liq, bored as hell. did you watch the gophs last weekend? hang on there's a customer here................(in background) oh yeah, did you watch the gophs last weekend?........." that's usually when i hang up and ignore all subsequent calls.

so if anyone has seen his phone, please return it. you can probably just drop it off at mcdonalds, he should have it by this afternoon.

oh yeah, and i'll probably update the shit on the right border at some point, but don't hold your breath. does anyone even look at that shit anyways? i'm thinking of trying something different on there, we'll see how that goes.

A Team Named Sue

Updating the USCHO rankings today, and them indians from north dakota no longer have a number in front of their name. That makes me giggle. That got me to thinking about how bad the final five is going to suck for Feever with nobody to cheer for. Also got me thinking back to the good ol days when a trip to the final five didn't involve a flight and was a yearly occurance. Ah, the memories. Here's my top 5 that i can remember. Keep in mind i was blackout drunk the majority of the time spent there, so these might not be accurate. Also, if i leave any out, feel free to add your own. I also have a couple other stories, but i can't remember if they happened during final five or at the state high school tourney, so i'll leave them off the list. we'll consider these honorable mentions; Greens picking his nose on the jumbotron, freddy throwing a beer bottle right through the hotel window, russel getting his jacket stolen from inside the ghetto hotel room, and yours truly getting cut off at a bar. it may or may not have been noon as previously reported by Hammy, i can't seem to remember the details. anyways, here's my top 5 final five stories:

5. Barry Bergan at some bar down the street from the X. If you haven't seen BB put on a show, you don't know what you're missing. Not to mention the fact that he was accompanied by Wade "the blade" demarais. There's a guy i miss. Anyways, Barry was stumbling drunk and wanted to know which titty bar was the best to get some "extra attention". He had collected about 30 of those strip club cards they hand out on the street and was flipping through them asking which one i thought he should go after. The guy is a legend.

4. Jimmy Johns. No real story here, but my god were they delicious at 2am. And i'm pretty sure Skippy had sex with his sandwich on TK's floor.

3. Riding the dueling zambonis with Beav. This also isn't much of a story, mainly because none of you other fuckers were at the arena yet when we did it. It was still pretty sweet. Also, i need to include the 94 times the Curlett was on the jumbotron. I swear to god he was sucking off the camera guy because he was up there every other stoppage. Fag.

2. Feever! Here's a bit of advice for anybody going to the X for any event: If the usher/security guy tells you to stop swearing and stop spilling your drink, don't do the following. Feever says he's sorry, won't happen again, proceeds to stumble a bit, spills his drink damn near on the guy's foot, then says something to the effect of "oh fuck i'm sorry" needless to say he was not around for the end of that game.

1. The mother of all Final Five stories, hands down number 1. We were all witness to the only person to ever have a full ciggy inside the Xcel Energy Center. Let me set the stage here, Sioux vs Gophers, jam-packed arena, we're at the bar row more than likely hammered as shit. Some old dude walks up behind us with his nachos in hand, cheese all over his shirt, and sits down in the lounge chairs behind us. Nothing unusual there, those are some sweet chairs. Game is underway, and the son of a bitch old man decides to take a fucking nap (read: pass out). I don't remember exactly when it was when he came to, but i know he slept through a couple goals, which equals loud as you can imagine in there. Fucker wakes up, kind of looks around as we're all laughing our drunk asses off at his perplexed look. He then reaches down and has a nacho, spills more cheese on himself, then did something legends are made of. He pulls out a box of ciggys, casually lights one up and smokes it. Not a hurried drag or a power drag, but he takes his time and enjoys every last drag. Not once during this does any security personnel approach him, nobody seems to be able to grasp what he was doing. When he finished his smoke, he put it out in his nacho cheese, got up, and went on his way like nothing happened. I'm pretty sure he was getting ready for warmups to start, not knowing he slept through most of the fucking game. It just doesn't get any better than that.