Explanation of Events on 3/9/09

First of all, had I known about the events that had transpired earlier in the day, I would've never thought the Wild would lose last night's game. It wasn't until this morning that I was given the full story, and I'll recount that here to let all of you know exactly how the Wild won last night.

7:00am C-Town Time(CTT)

Here we see our favorite goalie Reeser starting the morning off workin on the rails. I'm not sure where he was planning on going, but I'll bet he never got there.

9:00am CTT
The call comes in from SJ Sharks GM Doug Wilson telling Reese to get his pads out of the basement. It seems Nabakov is out and they're in a pinch. Naturally Reeser is busy having a ciggy so he misses the call, but he'll get the biggest voicemail ever soon enough.

11:00am CTT
Reese puts in a call to Bob Montague pleading for any advice that might help him settle down and be ready for the game. "You've only got one job to do, stop the puck." Nuff said.

12:00pm CTT

Reeser is on a plane and heading for California. Soils all three barf bags in his row. Now working on some Copenhagen.

4:00pm CTT
Rumors start flying around San Jose that this kid from Minnesota is being called up by the Sharks. Nabakov has no comment.

6:00pm CTT

Reeser arrives at the arena to throngs of reporters wondering just who the hell he is. "No comment, talk to the birdie."

8:30pm CTT
Dressed and ready to go, the puke count up to 5, It's finally time to hit the ice. Rob Blake taped over Reese's skate blades and his entrance onto the ice for warmups is a memorable one. That crafty old fuck. In another bizarre move, the Sharks allow The Feever to warm up their new goalie, and all this results in is about 30 head shots and a stick in the nuts. Needless to say Reeser is rattled.

9:30pm CTT
Game Time. Reeser looks to be shitting bricks right now.

10:45pm CTT
We're about half way through the second period and the Sharks have built themselves a 3-0 lead. Reese hasn't had this many shutout minutes since...well never. Maybe in mens league that one time, but that really doesn't count.

11:00pm CTT
Bergeron finally solves the mystery goalie from Minnesota. Apparently someone on the Wild staff was watching film of warmups to get an idea on this kid's weaknesses and noticed after about 13 or 14 head shots he was turtling on every shot above his waist. The call came in to the bench and before anybody knew what happened we were heading to the 2nd intermission with the Wild down just 3-2.

12:00am CTT
With about 8 minutes left in the game and the Sharks clinging to a one goal lead, another tip comes into the the Wild bench. It seems the coach of the high school team in Detroit Lakes is watching the game, and apparently knows a surefire way to get the Wild another goal. He tells the lockerroom staff about a play they ran back in '98 that worked like a charm. "Just bounce the puck from as close to center ice as possible, make sure it hops a couple times and he'll lose it 5-hole." What happened next will live on in highlight shows forever.

Here's a still shot, bulletin board material if you will.

1:00am CTT
Overtime now. Scrum in front of Reeser, he gets shoved aside like a salad in front of skippy, and just like that the Wild leave California with two points. San Jose sent Reese packing, probably his last soiree in the NHL, but you never know.

I wouldn't have believed it if I didn't see it, but it all makes sense now.