Game Time

6:57
Go Rays. Fuck me. I blame it on the coin flip. yeah, let's go with that.

6:55
guess me and gardy are on the same page. unfortunately kubel didn't get the memo we put him in there to get a hit. 1 down. span up.

6:51
alright, this is it. the white, right-handed dennys reyes coming in. don't forget we beat that fat fucker not more than a week ago. don't count on it again though. regardless i'm throwing in another rally chew. the last one was gay. have faith in the grizz.

6:45
not to look ahead to the 9th with nathan coming in, but you've got to imagine gardy will pinch hit for gomez. i expect to see kubel if it's still within 1. atleast he gives you a shot to tie. gomez on the other hand, not so much. then you got span and casilla. casilla might as well put his bat away as well. buscher, get warm.

6:40
Ok, i lied. what the fuck? punto hits a nubber to short that kalpakof could've fielded and then jogs to first to get doubled up. out of all the times to see that little midget slide into first, this would've been the time. but no. he checks up about halfway down the line and coasts. not even close at first. gay. and that brings his batting average against danks to about .075. nice move gardy, let's play him. might as well bring in guerrier and seal this thing.

6:39
I'm not even going to say anything on that one.

6:36
That wasn't a mistake that Stockton just stated, Harris' single with 1 out in the 8th was their SECOND hit of the game. to quote Harry Doyle, "two hits? two god damn hits!? i'm outta here."

6:33
Fat Mexican II gets out of the jam. Twins have got 6 outs left in the season if they don't get their shit together.

6:25
Great game by blackburn, unfortunately the combination of Danks being as good and the Twins hitters taking their retard pills before the game = not good results. Gardy bringing in Fat Mexican II to pitch to pierzynski. if that homo gets a hit here i'm gonna be sick. mijares has a snoose can in his back pocket. i'll assume it's tequila flavored grizzly.

6:19
Been a hell of a season. hopefully their team plane crashes on the way to tampa bay.

6:15
Six fucking pitches. thats what it took for Danks to get through the 7th. SIX! holy shit balls. he's pitching on 3 days rest, the sox have only two relievers who are worth a shit, it's a 0-0 game in the 7th, and we get him through an inning on six fucking pitches. fucking gay.

6:13
Harold Reynolds just absolutely over-analyzed a throw to first by pierzynski. talking about a make or break play. on a bunt. by joe mauer. he's almost half way to pissing away the batting title. if this game goes about 15 innings your batting champ is dustin pedroia.

6:10
Another beauty of an inning from blackburn. time for a rally chew.

6:09
I'm also sick of dick stockton mispronouncing Jason Wise's first name. it's Jay-son.

6:05
Did i mention i hate Pierzynski? and per Russel's comments from the comments section: yes cal ripken has definately let himself go. i'd still rather see him in there than punto. he doesn't even need a uni, just send him up there in his suit.

6:00
Beer me.

5:49
back to the game. twins have a threat in the 5th. Unfortunately that fag pierzynski hangs on to the ball on a collision at home with cuddy. Brings back memories of Hunter mauling the sox catcher a few years ago. Jamie Burke maybe? doesn't matter at this point, AJ just struck out so he can settle the fuck down and go make out with Uribe.

5:46
Just got off the phone with the one and only Skippy. says he's workin at the lick tonight and can't watch the game. what a fag. Also wanted to know where i got the picture of him from christmas last year when he got his new nun-chuks. i stole it out of his mom's dresser when i stayed over at her place this summer. also got some undies out of the hamper. it was glorious.

5:42
Twins dodge a bullet after Casilla wastes a double play chance. looks like my calling ability is right on par with bert's. now if i can just catch up to him in the beer department i'll have made something of myself. I'm on number 7 right now, he's probably in the 18 pack range already. i've got a lot of growing up to do.

5:34
And in the tradition of my boy Bert Blyleven, i'm gonna make a call. The sox will hit a HR this inning. i've just got a bad feeling. and Dye is on first, so i'm calling the twins being down atleast 2-0 after this inning. hopefully my calls are as accurate as bert's, he's 0 fer the century.

5:32
The Twins come back with an impressive inning at the plate, forcing Danks to throw 9 fucking pitches. and 7 of those were to mauer who struck out for the second time. It's innings like that that make me wonder if i really wanna watch these fuckers play more this year. ok, that's a lie. if they weren't on right now i'd definately be sober, probably watching family guy reruns. god my life is pathetic.

5:29
Mauer must've read in the papers that he needs to go 0-7 in order to piss away the batting title. he's well on his way with an 0-2 so far.

5:26
Jason Wise pops out to end the inning; a beauty from Blackburn. Sox look like the twins, 7 pitches necessary to put em down.

5:23
I can't get over how much i hate Juan Uribe with that gay blonde pubic hair patch on his chin. Good thing AJ can't grow facial hair or he'd probably have one too.

5:21
That was gay. Beer me.

5:09
AJ shits the bed with 2 runners on. 2nd inning crisis averted. Moving along. Due up for the twins: Timmy Anderson, Casey English, Ray Swatzel. It's go time!

5:05
Flava-Flav! That is one skinny black man. God i hate these fuckers.

4:58
Well that was neat. Cody Grivno, Ben Fiero, and Scott Waxvik would've put up a better fight that inning than Morneau, Cuddy, and Delmon. fuckin gross.

4:52
Dye is up, i should mention that his kid goes to school down here. If i wasn't so fucking lazy i probably would've kidnapped the little bastard. good thing dye sucks anyways so it shouldn't matter.

4:47
forgot to mention earlier that Harold Reynolds has taken time out of his hectic Sport Fucking schedule to join the booth tonight for TBS. hopefully he can keep his hands off of dennis eckersly long enough to get through the game. that dennis has the sweetest mullet/porn stache combo that would make any school boy drop to his knees.

4-3-6-3-6 Double Play! fuck me and fuck the sox.

4:46
so much for a quiet inning. blackburn just hangs a big fat breaking ball that barry altepeter could've laced into the gap. cabrera manages to line it to left. thank god altepeter wasn't up.

4:45
The announcer on TBS just called Mauer "Bauer". i didn't realize Danny Strommen was playing tonight. Shitty luck on a liner with the runner going bailed out the sox there. mauer must've missed the double play because he swung like there was a runner on first when he got up. heading to the bottom of the inning, blackburn needs to get through this one quietly.

4:36
Well, here we go. As suspected, the retarded midget is starting at short. Not surprised. I still see the twinkies getting worked tonight, but if they can get a couple early and shut up the fucks in the stands it'll definately help. must be "take a tard to the park" night in chicago, there is a lot of goofy lookin bastards in the stands. If the next entry is at 4:40 and says the sox are coming up, i'm quitting and getting drunk.

"black out" is also retarded and to top it off, the team didn't get the memo and is wearing white. god they're gay in chicago.

Also, i miss bert and his drunken antics on the air. Name me anybody else who dropped two F-Bombs on live TV during a telecast.