Saturday, October 3, 2009

Must Win (Again)

Blackburn vs Greinke. Blackburn on 3 days rest. Not a bad thing for a sinkerballer. And I'm already hammered. Can't remember the last time I saw the Twins wear the throwbacks. Need some baby blue in there.

Quick and tidy first inning for Blackie, it'd be nice to get something, anything against Greinke early. Maybe a liner up the middle off his pitching hand. Let's go with that, just enough to hurt him a little.

God his numbers are good. If he pitched for anybody other than the Royals you can pencil him in for 20 wins. And in the time it took me to type that sentence, there's two outs. Now don't get me wrong, it took me a lot longer to type that than it should've, but fuck. "This is the matchup of the afternoon" says FOX commentator guy as Mauer comes up. Not sure who he is, but Bert is doing the color commentary so we still have the chance of some F-Bombs on the air today. Beer me.

Perfect game gone with a walk to Mauer. They just showed Punto on the bench and I'm pretty sure he just woke up an hour ago and didn't have time to shower/comb his hair before the game. Ok, that was a little gay, but he looks like I do on a Sunday afternoon. Not good. End of 1, 0-0.

Anybody else think Ralph Englestad had something do with with the construction of the Dome?

Nice and quick 2nd for Blackburn, probably hovering around 25 pitches through 2 which is a good sign early.

I have to believe that nobody took me up on my "take Greinke to the Vu" campaign last night, so the Twins are going to have to find a way to hit this fucker. Not to mention he's painting the outside corner at 96 on a consistent basis and dropping off-spead pitches just on the other side of home plate. Blackburn is going to need a gem to give the Twins a chance, I'll say this one will end up 1-0 or 2-1.

Oh yeah, Blackburn looks good with the scruff, but he needs to shave it all off except the stache and really creep out some hitters. Get 'em in their fucking minds.

I wonder how many people went from the Gophers football game straight to the Twins game.

Punto up. Fag. K. Weird.

Honestly, so far this is pretty close to exactly what the Twins wanted with a scoreless game through 3. The only problem is Greinke has only thrown around 40 pitches which is not good by any means.

Blackburn just got two more outs on probably 3 pitches with fat Billy Butler coming up. God I hate him. And he scares me. And he's not really that fat, but really gay. He'd probably like Punto.

12 up, 12 down for Blackie. Twins need to get something going this inning. Cabrera, Mauer, and Kubel coming up. Not quite the same as Hann, Melbye, Hann; but it'll do.

Kubel just struck out on a fastball that was derby worthy. fuck fuck fuck.

Cuddy lookin like a RH Jacques Jones again.

Buttfucker Teahen bunts two homos into scoring position, Blackie gets a HUGE ground ball to get the second out and keep the runners on 2nd and 3rd. Needs one more out here. If they score here, I'll make sure to piss on Teahen's house next time I go over there. If you didn't hear, last time I was over there I peed on his car and stole two of his bats. Classy.

HUGE out there. Bottom 5 and still 0-0. Need to scratch out a run girls.

Delmon leads off with a single, you have got to bunt with Morales here.

Or not. What the shit? Gay. I get it with Tolbert and Punto coming up why you might not bunt, but if that's the case why are either of those fuck bags in the game at all? 0-0 in the 5th, lay that bunt down and pray for a hit out of one of those retards.

Gardy is a homo. Instead of having Morales bunt, he decides to put on a hit and run with Tolbert. Yeah, THAT tolbert. Jesus fucking Christ. Delmon is thrown out by 3 feet and the 5th inning ends still scoreless. And Punto is leading off the 6th. I honestly think Jehovah Jeff could manage a better game than Gardy.

Thinking about that inning more, how in the fuck do you not bunt? A classic pitchers dual going on, a total of 4 hits in the game, you have to play for one run right? Bunt that fucker over and take your chances. Idiot.

Bottom 6, leadoff hitter walks, no different opinion here as Span comes up with dipshit on first. bunt him over, take your chances.

Holy shit. Nice work. Cabrera and Mauer coming up and if one of them gets a hit the Twins have a lead.

Two outs and Mauer up with a runner on 3rd. Earn your MVP fucker.


1-0 Twins, bottom 6. All attention turns to Blackburn and shutting down the fucking Royals.

Kubel with a ground rule double, but RH Jacques Jones is up. And he gets hit. Bases loaded with Delmon up. Two nights in a row?

Not quite, but HOLY FUCKING SHIT a double off the baggy! 4-0 Twins. giggity giggity

Enter Mijares, and exit lead. I'm gonna go ahead and call for a conspiracy theory after Mijares was outed for throwing behind Everett Thursday. Last night he came in and gave up 2 runs (neither of them charged to him, but still shitty) and tonight he gives up a big dinger and gives up the lead. Silly fat Mexican.

CUDDYER! Holy shit balls again. 5-4 Twins, Nathan warming (probably) bottom 8. Finish this off and put the pressure on the Tiggers. Which I'll be watching and probably commenting about on here. Also Wild open up tonight. Good times.

And we're heading to the 9th, Twins up a run.

Span makes a beauty of a catch, Nathan ends it. 1/2 game back. Fuck you Tigers.

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