Thursday, April 9, 2009

1st Place!

That's right fuckers, your Minnesota Twins are in first place. I'm too lazy to look it up, but I'm willing to bet it's been quite some time since we've been able to say that. As for the game, I'm not gonna lie it was a pretty boring affair, compounded by the fact that I was stone sober. I'm sure that'll change tomorrow night when they take on the Sox, but that's neither here nor there. Span made his best case for his second straight MVP of this blog by hitting a 2 run bomb in the second inning, only to be outdone by our favorite dim-witted Canadian. More on that later. The bad news for the day is Joe Crede's two game hit streak comes crashing to a halt, just 54 games short of tying Joe DiMaggio's record that has stood for a butt load of years (68 years to be exact, see what happens when I get really bored). Also, the Crainwreck pitched a rare scoreless inning, and we're not talking rare like seeing a clean Mexican, we're talking rare like seeing Christ. This shit just doesn't happen. Kevin Slowey became the first Twins pitcher of 2009 to record a win; not that he deserved it the way he kept battling to keep Seattle in the game, but nonetheless. Nathan also found his way into the record books by recording his 1st save of the year and 200th as a Twin. Outstanding.


Derr came in with a batting average of... well he didn't exactly have a batting average coming into this one. He had been 0-8 with 8 runners left on base through the first two games, until a first inning moon shot gave the Twins a 2-0 lead. On top of the big bomb, Derr also walked and hit an RBI double. Even the out he made was a laser that almost found it's way into right-center field. Nice work ya idiot.

Trivia: what year was the picture at the top of this post taken? Answer tomorrow.


  1. I am going to say 2 years ago cuz I see some Nigger that had a career batting average of .263 for the Twins but somehow everyone loved him and wanted him to be resigned. Heres to Torii Hunter getting hit by a train and dieing a slow death in CA.

  2. Nice work. I wasn't actually sure what year it was, but it was after Derr switched from 27 to 33 and before that retard was traded, so that narrowed it down pretty good. I'll take your word on the 2 years ago. for this day, you're a winner.