These Guys Fucking Suck

For the time being it looks like Craig Breslow has taken over the part of Moe. If you watched the 7th inning of tonight's game you know what I'm talking about. Liriano finally has a good outing holding the Jays to one earned run over 6 innings, leaving the game with the Twins trailing 2-1. That brings us to the 7th when Larry, Curly, and Moe all got in the game. By the time the dust settled it was 9-1 Jays. Jesus Fucking Christ this is getting old in a hurry. Even R.A. Dickey made a bid to get into the stooges club, but even his pathetic outing wasn't enough to boost him up to the top (bottom) three.

Here's a rundown of the 7th inning:

Larry Pitching
Single
Pop Out
2 Run HR
Single
Pop Out
Single

Moe Pitching
Wild Pitch
Wild Pitch
Walk
Walk

Dickey Pitching
Grand Slam
Double
Walk

Curly Pitching
Strikeout

Now looking at that you might think, hey Curly didn't do too bad tonight what the fuck. He still sucks balls and gave up a walk and a double all while lowering his ERA from 9.00 to an astonishing 7.36. He's fucking garbage and everybody knows it. Anyways, here's a look at the lines tonight for the Twins pitchers...

Liriano - 6IP, 7H, 1ER, 5K, 5.09ERA
Larry - 0.2IP, 4H, 4ER, 0K, 8.44ERA
Moe - 0.0IP, 0H, 2ER, 0K, 16.20ERA
Dickey - 0.0IP, 2H, 1ER, 0K, 5.19ERA
Curley - 1.1IP, 1H, 0ER, 1K, 7.36ERA
Crain - 1IP, 0H, 0ER, 1K, 1.59ERA

I'll do the math for you; the stooges have a combined ERA of 32.00 after 11 games. I'd also love to include the worst pitcher in the major leagues with these bums, but I'm hoping that Humber and his 12.46 ERA are going to be put on waivers in the near future and we'll never have to see him pitch for the Twins again.

Basically what I'm saying is that if the bullpen doesn't see some new faces pretty soon, it's going to be a long summer.