Friday, May 15, 2009

Note to Ron Gardenhire - Part II

Hey fuckbag, I hate you. A few suggestions to ponder as this season wears on...
1. Quit playing Nick Punto. He is a waste of fucking space. Enough said.

2. Quit hitting Matt Tolbert in the 2-hole. His average is actually lower than Punto's, yet he continues to hit between your two best hitters every fucking game. Hit him 8th and preferably on a rotating basis with dipshit from #1. Maybe one of them will have a sudden realization as to the desired outcome in baseball and get on base once in a while. When you have 3 middle infielders and 2 of them are hitting below .200, rotate them while keeping the one hitting .300 in the lineup. I know this is complicated, but if you'd like to sit down and talk I'll explain the difference between 200 and 300. Here's a hint, it's about 100.

I have to interrupt this post as Gomez is trying to argue with Texiera right now. Texiera looks to be giving it to him pretty good, and from the looks of it all Gomez could muster up to say was "Shut up!" If you've ever heard him give an interview after a game, you know he's not the most well-spoken person in the world, and I'm sure he was confused as hell and probably a little scared. Regardless, it was hilarious.

3. Quit pulling your starting pitchers when they approach 100 pitches. There is absolutely no proof that a pitcher will explode upon throwing that many pitches. You must realize that your bullpen consists of a pack of idiots who struggle to get anybody out these days and adjust accordingly.

4. Quit. Just quit. Walk away. Maybe get a job with the media, they seem to love you for some reason. You fucking dirtball faggot. I hate you.

3 comments:

  1. So tired of you sugar coating everything you say. Christ, have a Natty Light and let it flow man. No need to feel awkward on this blog, that's for sure.

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  2. I'll call it now, Twins are going down. Just got the kiss of death from Dick, "The Twins have them right where they want them." We're fucked.

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  3. Will,
    you remind me a lot of a dark skinned Gardy. Except gayer.

    ReplyDelete