Friday Night Live Blog

Waiting for the Twins pregame to start, happily watching The Office on TBS, when wouldn't you know it, the Red Sox / Yankees game is on next. Buck Martinez and whoever the hell else they have calling this game clearly have a boner for Jeter, and I managed about 3 minutes of them drooling over him before having to turn the channel. As for the important games going on tonight, we're looking at Carl Pavano throwing for the Twins against Robinson Tejeda and the Royals, and Jake Peavy is on the hill in Chicago facing Eddie Bonine and the Tiggers. First of all, Robinson Tejada doesn't have a first name. Real gay. Span is talking on the pregame show right now about praying to God about getting back into the box tonight, should be interesting. The Sox are a complete wreck right now, but with Peavy on the mound hopefully will find a way to help out the Twins. Games start in about 20 minutes, I'm gonna fire up the grill and keep pounding beers, hopefully putting on a real shit show in the process.

Twins Lineup

1. Denard Span

2. Orlando Cabrera

3. Joe Mauer

4. Jason Kubel

5. Michael Cuddyer

6. Delmon Young

7. Jose Morales

8. Matt Tolbert

9. Nick Punto

Couple of early observations:

1. The whole batting title batman thing has run it's course. If it gets back within 5 points, go for it. Until then, let's assume Mauer isn't going to go on a 0-20 run and will take his 3rd title. By the way, if he did go on an 0-20 run, he would still be ahead of the Seattle Chinaman by a couple points.

2. The homeplate ump throws like a girl. Fag.

Alright, picked up the Tigers feed after Pavano got out of a little jam in the first. I don't remember ever seeing Peavy pitch before, and the fact that he has injury problems is not a surprise. He might have the ugliest, jerkiest delivery I have ever seen. He makes Liriano look smooth if that is possible. They're heading to the bottom of 2 scoreless. And the Tigers announcer just said that the Sox were officially eliminated from the postseason last night leaving just the Tigers and Twins. Is that right? Hang on.......holy shit I just turned back to the Twins game and they're already done in the 2nd. Good work. Anyways, as far as I can tell, Tigers have 10 games remaining and the Sox have 9. Six of those games are against each other. If the Sox win out and the Tigers lose all their games, they would have the same record (82-80) and the Sox would've won the season series. So if my Minnesota math is correct, (and the Twins weren't in the equation) they would be having a one game playoff in Chicago. I guess you have to forgive the Detroit announcer, he is from Detroit after all.

Can anybody confirm the rumor that Notcho is now a proud papa?

My fucking grill is out of propane. This isn't good.

Glad to see Punto is hitting higher than his weight these days. He's still a piece of monkey shit, but I haven't wanted to murder him as much lately. And right on cue he's on with a walk. Way to go retard. I think he slid into first after the walk. They didn't show a replay, but I'll assume he did.

I texted in a question to Dick N Bert about Duensing and whether or not he will be considered a rookie next season. He won't, since he has more than 50 IP this year, but my intention was to get my name on TV and not gain any knowledge. We'll see how that works out.

Twins on the board 1-0. That girl thrower of an ump behind the plate kicks a wild pitch straight up in the air and Punto scores from second. Good stuff. Looked it up and the ump's name is Laz. Nice. Other game is still 0-0 in the bottom of 3. We'll look in on that one for a bit.

Back from that. Sox have 0 hits through 3. Promising.

Fat Billy Butler just tied the game on a solo shot and a girl fight ensues between two KC fans over the ball. Neither of them were girls. Both of them were overweight 40 year olds. Good stuff.

Cuddy with his 30th of the year to give the Twins the lead and tie Derr for the team lead in HR. Somebody obviously figured out how to mask steroids good enough to pass piss tests.

Update on the Notcho baby front. Apparently there is a little Jude Notcho who's going to be getting minors in a few years. Way to go Notch.

Also, Tiggers and Sox are still scoreless in the bottom of the 5th.

Good stuff. The man with no first name walks in a pair of runs. Twins have 2 hits and 5 runs now. And the Sox just got a two run homer from Dave Gordon Beckham and lead 2-0 in the 7th.

And Fat Billy Butler just hit another dinger to bring it back to 6-4. Gross. Sox are still up 2-0 heading to the 8th. My question didn't make it on the air, they picked some stupid question about well i'm not really sure, when mine wasn't on there i didn't really listen. And the Twins feed went out so now i have to listen to the royals broadcasters. they're talking about season tickets for next season. if you want the number, it's 816-504-4040. i'm sure they have plenty of good seats available.

Good news: Sox have a rally going against some chinese guy from detroit. Bad news: Pierzynski is up.

pop up to 3rd. still runners on the corners with 2 outs. these games are pretty much mirror images of each other. the sox have 2 runs on 2 hits, detroit has 0 runs on 6 hits. twins have a couple hits and 6 runs, royals have about 10 hits and 4 runs. crazy shit.

i've had about enough of this blogging stuff, it's starting to cut into my drinking.

Ok, i was seriously done, but Dick just said that the Sox were eliminated last night too. Normally in this situation i would assume that i was wrong and both play by play guys were correct, but it just doesn't add up to me. let's put some numbers down here and see what happens. these are up to the minute with tonight's tigers loss included. I'm not including the Twins game tonight because they still have 6 outs to get and Armando Gabino is warming up. Anything is possible.

Detroit 82-71 153 games played, 9 games remaining

Twins 79-73 152 games played, 10 games remaining

Chicago 74-80 154 games played, 8 games remaining

Let's say Detroit goes 0-9 and finishes at 82-80. I guess they have 4 games left vs the Twins, so we'll give those to the Twins and assume Twins lose the rest of their games. That would leave the Twins with a 83-79 record. Chicago wins the last 8 games they have, they finish at 82-80 and the Twins beat them. Please ignore all previous reasoning as to why the Sox aren't eliminated yet, they are.