Random Observations

First thing first - it's not a good idea to start drinking Sailor Jerry at 9am. Ever.

As a direct result of this, I'm pretty sure everyone who was sitting in section 110 between rows G - I during the Wild game Saturday night are quite aware of a couple things;

1. Martin Skoula is retarded and sounds like a drunken monkey when he talks. He is also completely lost every time he steps on the ice and says things like "hey coach, i'm retarded and don't know what to do good." not sure what that means, but apparently i mentioned it many many times throughout the game.

2. "hit him with your purse, you pussy" is not only acceptable to say during a hockey game, but it's encouraged. doesn't matter that there is atleast 5 kids under 12 sitting within earshot, it's still a go. as long as you say it more than 10 times. and i'm pretty sure i had that covered before the first period was 8 minutes old. good stuff.

3. it's entirely possible to drink 7 16-ounce beers during one hockey game. don't forget they stop selling after the 2nd period. in light of that fact, make sure during the 2nd intermission you go up and get 2 beers not once, but twice. they won't let you buy 4 at once so you have to be crafty. well worth it. *disclaimer* this will probably lead to blacking out before you leave the arena. i know i did. i'm betting that taco bell food was really good though.

4. when you're cheering for the visiting team at a hockey game, and your team scores, immediately stand up, cheer, then turn around and point at any other individuals wearing a jersey/shirt/hat of the team you're cheering for. take my word on this one, just because you don't know them and will never see them again, for that minute you are pretty much brothers. and while you're at it, pop your jersey a few times if you're wearing one and then point at any and all home fans while staring directly through them. they need to feel you staring into their souls.

5. after the game, call paulette and ask her how the gophs did. don't worry if it's after midnight in c-town, she'll be up. probably really excited to hear from you too. and no, it doesn't matter if you wake up and ask yourself "i wonder how the gophs did last night."

All in all, it was a real shit show. Kendra will not be attending the Wild game with us in December. she said after the way i acted at the game last night and the fact that i'll have more retards helping me out, it isn't anything she wants to be a part of. this at least guarantees us a sober ride home, so you can thank me later.

5 weeks from Thursday and the official gong show can begin. I already notified the company that supplies cheese curds in the area and they'll be doubling their production in anticipation of Skippy's visit. I've set the bar pretty high for retardation at a Wild game, but i'm sure with enough beer and maybe a bottle of Sailor Jerry's, we'll be able to get the job done.

My liver hurts, i'm going to bed.