Friday, August 7, 2009

Carl Fucking Pavano

Congratulations Billy Boy, you just shored up the pitching staff with this blockbuster. Carl Pavano. The answer to all our prayers. He brings his stellar 9-8 record and blistering 5.37ERA with him from Cleveland. Probably flew out with them yesterday and thus saved the Twins from having to foot the bill for a flight from Cleveland to Detroit today. And with the Twins sending down Dickey and his 4.62ERA, the staff got statistically worse today. I'm assuming this sequence is going to result in Liriano moving to the bullpen, but I really can't figure out why Dickey would be the odd man out. Don't get me wrong, I cringe every time dick face brings him into the game, but nothing near the pain of seeing #28 on the hill with his huge faggy necklace. Look at this lineup of bums still on the roster after the latest season-saving transaction:

Keppel 5.18
Duensing 5.19 (3.60 as starter)
Liriano 5.63
Perkins 5.95
Crain 7.20

EDIT - Perkins relegated to the bullpen according to Robbie Inscmikosweskie. Waiting to see what the deal is with Liriano and his issues.

3 comments:

  1. I for one like getting Pavano, I agree that he is pretty much worthless but I do think he is an upgrade. Which goes to show just how bad Billy Smith sucks that we have to pull off shit like this to upgrade our team. I am almost to the point where I can't even cheer for this team anymore. We have a core of guys like Mauer, Morneau, Nathan, Span and Kubel and we cant build around them with better fuckin players than Punto and Cassilla. Right now is when Twins management should be playing in the now this team will never have a bigger window then right now and Billy Smith is pissing it down his leg. GOD I FUCKING HATE HIM.......and yes his children are in danger.

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  2. I liked it a lot more before I read the part about sending Dickey and not Crain/Perkins/Keppel down. I just have a feeling he's the next Livan Hernandez or Sidney Ponson. Hopefully I'm wrong, and either way I'll be pounding beers like it's my job during the Detroit series. Even if they lose the division by 30 games, I've still gotta hope for a couple wins over the Tigers to save some face around the house.

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  3. After looking at the stats the Twins' web site posted, the reason they traded for Pavano is for his numbers against the Tiggers this year, he's 3-0 with a 1.93 ERA.
    If they're looking for pitchers who were good 3+ years ago, why not look at Daniel Cabrera? He couldn't even stay in the majors with the Nationals but the Twins couldn't hit him when he was with the O's, so it would make sense to Billy Bob Smith.

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