Sunday, October 26, 2008

thoughts from the weekend

no real rhyme or reason here, just some random thoughts.

1. college hockey needs to rethink the penalty calling situation. i could've sworn dale stainbrook and a severely hungover dusty mjoen were reffing the gophers games. there was absolutely no flow to either game, it really looked like an nfl game with a penalty happening on just about every play. gay.

2. speaking of dusty mjoen, i hear that him and trevor brekken are reffing the winter classic game at wrigley this year. expect them to show up 5 minutes before the drop of the puck still drunk. maybe brandon boetcher can do the lines. talk about an all-star lineup.

3. gopher football is fun to watch again. i'm sure they can still find a way to lose two more games and end up in the porno bowl in december. the only thing that sucks balls is that every game this year except one has started at 11am central. not too bad unless you live in arizona and 11am central translates to 9am. good thing when i woke up yesterday i was still drunk from friday night so i didn't have to work too hard to hit .24 by the half.

4. i can't find my debit card. i'm pretty sure i left it at the bar last night. note to self: when you leave the bar at 2am make sure to close out your tab and take your card back. i know this seems like an easy task, but remember who this is. now picture me at 2am on a saturday night. keep in mind this day started before 9am and i was still drunk and had a 32 ounce glass full of morgan coke in my hand. all of a sudden the simplest tasks don't seem so simple.

5. bought a new fire pit friday after work. this led directly to the 9am wakeup still drunk part of the weekend. i'm pretty sure if i didn't run out of beer i would've still been sitting out there when the gophers game started saturday morning. and if i wasn't out of wood and too lazy/hungover to go buy more, i'd probably be out there right now.

6. vikings didn't lose today. brad childress more than likely used the extra time to touch some little boys. god he looks like a pedo. and i'm pretty sure notch-o could kick his ass.

7. watching the world series so far and all i know is butch schleicher and sherm tollefson could be doing a better job umping. they have like 14 umps out there and yet still have managed to look like retards on more than one occasion.

8. wild are in town next saturday. not sure if the game will be on tv up there, but if it is make sure to keep your eyes open for an 'indian on welfare check day drunk' retard in a red wild jersey making a complete ass of himself. i'm not saying, i'm just saying. and tune in early, i'm not sure if i'll be there the whole game. not because i'll voluntarily leave early, but i've seen a few drunks get hauled out of that arena before. and we all know what kind of show i can put on if i put my mind to it. look out liver. if they kick me out you can bet everything you own that i'll go out firing cuss words at the elderly security guards. fuckin bed shitters.

9. if anybody wants to put it together, i really think we should try to line up a notcho vs chilly MMA fight. we could probably sell out lincoln field. yeah thats right, i'm talking an outdoor cage match. someone come up with a catchy name for it. and if anyone gets a chance, cruise by lincoln and see if there's any bleachers left up there.

10. dan wheeler is to the rays what matt guerrier is to the twins. garbage water.

11. with only 5 shopping days until halloween, the sluttiest of all holidays, make sure to charge up your cameras. submit your best pics from the weekend, and whoever posts a picture of the dirtiest slut will win a dirty pair of panties from the dirtiest slut of all, (insert someone's mom's name here). good luck.

12. if you're wondering about the picture at the top, i am too. i googled 'random shit' and that popped up. i think its macgyver. he's pretty sweet.

my fingers are tired and my brain hurts. i'm going to bed.

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